The Challenge of Change

A year ago, I packed nearly everything I owned into my Toyota RAV-4 and journeyed to Austin, Texas, for a month dedicated to Jiu-Jitsu training and focused writing. At that time, I kept my intentions private, as this was essentially a trial to see if I could relocate to Texas permanently and pursue my training full-time.

My previous attempt to leave Chicago had occurred at 18, right after high school. I was an insecure young adult, clueless about my future. Ultimately, that move didn’t pan out, and I returned after a year, feeling disheartened and ashamed for not thriving in a new environment.

From ages 19 to 25, I settled back in Chicago. During this period, I honed my Jiu-Jitsu skills, became a writer, forged a career, completed college, and fundamentally transformed myself compared to who I was during my initial departure.

When I made the decision to move again, I was apprehensive about repeating past mistakes. However, I was armed with newfound purpose.

Key Insight: Instead of seeking a purpose, create one. Build your foundation step by step.

The Courage to Face Failure

My second relocation involved various risks. Financially, I wasn’t in a secure position; I wasn’t moving for a lucrative opportunity but rather to pursue a passion. With no job lined up and lacking fame in Jiu-Jitsu, I faced a precarious situation.

For the first seven months in Austin, I struggled to cover rent, maxed out a credit card, and invested heavily in my own development. Although I had "flexibility in my schedule," I found myself working from dawn until late at night, leading to feelings of disorientation and uncertainty about my life’s direction.

Burnout can have a profound impact on your mindset.

Lesson Two: A purpose that doesn’t withstand adversity isn’t resilient. The universe may grant your wishes, but the journey will require effort and sacrifice. Engaging with risk should empower you, not deter you.

During moments of feeling adrift, I resonated with the man from the video. I felt that it was acceptable to be uncertain about my path. I thought my unpredictable lifestyle justified impulsivity and immaturity, and I longed for acceptance in my state of confusion.

This brings us to the essence of this discussion: we shouldn’t normalize a lack of accountability for our lives simply because challenges arise. Avoiding risk and retreating from discomfort does not excuse us from taking charge of our narratives. Just because life is challenging doesn’t mean we should accept stagnation or a "lost boy syndrome."

Instead of normalizing aimlessness, let’s promote the pursuit of self-discovery. Embrace the effort to uncover your truth. Learn from every experience, and build what you desire, even if it takes time.

Closing Thoughts

Today, I observe a significant reluctance among young individuals—both in Jiu-Jitsu and beyond—to fully engage with their lives. They seem paralyzed by the fear of taking risks, facing judgment, or experiencing social anxiety. This anxiety can inhibit them from pursuing worthwhile endeavors.

Ultimately, the rewards in life often stem from overcoming some form of anxiety. True peace is earned through diligence. Overcoming the fear of failure or criticism should be a priority for everyone, regardless of age or background. You must confront your insecurities and strive to live fully, despite them.

I assure you, the only thing worse than your fears is living with the regret of never confronting them. You can choose to face your fears or settle for a life of half-hearted attempts to normalize your discomfort.

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." — Rainer Maria Rilke